Teary eyed Reba?

I found myself getting a bit teary eyed tonight at the Reba concert.  She's been a favorite of mine since her TV show started 10 years ago.  Her theme song to the show is called "I'm A Survivor".  And like the character Reba, I knew back then what it was like to have your husband leave you for another woman and working two jobs, and raising my baby daughter all alone in the world.  So I identified with her character, though they did a good job of putting a comedic spin on such a hard subject.  They gave me 10 years ago something to laugh about.  Tonight, I sat and watched Reba sing with my arm around my not so little girl (her first concert) and thought "Wow!" God sure has taken me a long road and I am so blessed.  I have the priveledge to be married to the most amazing man who loves me and loves my daughter as his own!"  I love the song, but I no longer have to survive to get through life.  How lucky am I ?  I never thought I'd be here. 

Shifting Sands

My life is like my feet standing on shifting sand.  When everything you build is in upheaval, what do you hold onto?

I have watched others in the last several months make decisions for their lives that have such far reaching, deeply wounding consequences that have made me have weeks where it was hard to hold my head up or to even smile in a fake "I'm ok" manner.  My heart breaks for the littlest victims of bad decisions yet I am powerless to stop any of it.  Frankly, I am angry.  Cause you see angry is what I do best.  Call it my best survival mechanism.  It holds me together until such a time as I can calm down enough to surrender it to God and actually give him a chance show me a better way.  I find though that as I get older the more tired I get when people are dishonest to others when it all could and should have been avoided.  Yes we ALL make MISTAKES.  I openly say I am the first to screw up.  I own my mistakes.  I have been waiting for others decisions to dictate where my life was to go and I got tired of it.  I am still convinced that if I work hard enough it would all come together by the sheer force of my will...but alas I still haven't learned that lesson before trying it my way first.

I want more of life that sand castles and receding tides.  As a builder, I want that solid foundation that holds when the tidal waves come crashing in.  Because I do know this, if you know who you are in God, and you are strong in Him, those hard times and friendship betrayals become less painful to bear that it would have then when you are doing it on your own.  Trust in Jesus, better yet, find out who He says you are and believe it.  Then the peace that passes understanding will be yours to carry you through. 

Recouperation TV and how do I fair?

After having had knee surgery I get to sit watching TV alot!.  So I ended up watching a show I don't normally watch though I've seen my share of similar things.  The show is Parking Wars.  These hardworking people's jobs vary from giving parking tickets for illegally handicap parking or blocking a street to the point the city bus system can't turn around the corner!  Some have to put boots on cars for unpaid parking tickets and if its bad enough, they will have you towed for over $1000 in unpaid tickets! HOLY MOLEY!  Some meet you at the impound lot and they require you to have your insurance paid, identification, and up to date registration. You must also pay all your debts against you name just not the current vehicle before they give you your car back.  For all the hours I sat and watched this, I learned some things about people and even more important who should I be?
You see, only one person in the entire time I watched even acknowledged responsibility for her actions.  She said, yep I parked there and I am responsible. God bless the officer as he was only doing his job.  I thank the Lord I have enough money to pay for this too.  Don't you just love that?  You see, the rest either blamed others, denied the tickets they owed, called names, got violent, cursed or attacked the character of the person doing their job.  Not a one of them could say, I parked there, I ignored my tickets, I am a liar.

 Amos 5:10 There are those who hate the one who upholds justice in court and detest the one who tells the truth.
How true for those poor employees doing their jobs.  I am now even more motivated to let my yes be yes, to pay my bills on time, and be cautious to not blame others for my actions.  The many people who chose to not do the right thing on this TV show are a better reflection of how we are as people.  I know I am full of mistakes.  Please Lord, show me the error of my ways, teach me to live with honor, and to speak with truth
and walk in responsibility for the laws of the land and those over me you have called me to be obedient to.  Help me to not gossip or give my wrath to others who most certainly do not deserve that of me.  Recouperation TV is great!!!

Eyesight Blurred

Sometimes things get blurry.  Not because of what I've done today or even yesterday, but as a business owner.  What to do with a client who chooses to handle their issues in an inappropriate manner. So frustrating and when do I step in and say something?  When as I like to put it, "Get to be the big meanie." The  Bible says we are to go to someone and speak to them first.  I can appreciate that thought.  Be adult enough to deal with your issues in a responsible manner.  Posting it on facebook or being dishonest of what is really happening caused a bigger problem.  Now I get to say something.  I wish I was the kind of person whose thoughts came with great wisdom and clarity but usually that doesnt happen for me that way.  So now I will try to gracefully say what needs to be said without fireworks hopefully.  Here's a word to the wise, when you start causing your landlord lots of problems, they become inclined to have you move out rather than continue to deal with your irrational complaints.